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sammy_normous  
Single Men Oceanside, California, CA, Light Brown Hair, Blue Eyes
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 Location:Join now to chat!
 Zip Code:92058
 Age:29, Libra
 Height:6 ft. 0 in.
 Hair, Eyes:Light Brown, Blue
 Body:Average
 Ethnicity:White
 Religion:Not Religious
 Politics:Not quite sure
 Education:Bachelor's Degree
 Income:$25,000 - $50,000
 Job:Military
 Smoke:Don't Smoke
 Has Kids:No

About Me
If you have arrived at my profile because:

I am one of your matches: The newest and most advance relationship science has proven that we are meant to be together and we will live happily ever after without a shadow of a doubt.FACT

Any other reason or I messaged you: You are positively one of the luckiest women; read on.

Looking for a guy who's honest, sincere, faithful,and trust worthy? Well, Good Luck!

Hello, I'm Sammy Normous. You see this profile? This is THE most impressive profile I've ever seen- its mine. It doesn't FIT on one screen, because it doesn't BELONG on one screen. I've carefully constructed my profile along psychological principles to weed out women whom most men don't want, and the result has been that I've been meeting some really attractive, intelligent, confident, and playful women. Now, rather than referring to 30 years' worth of research found in academic journals on social psychology and behavior modification, I'll just sit here all smug and point out that if you read my profile and don't message me or reply to Max Powers (My alias), it's because you're some combination of train wreck, stupid, insecure, and boring. True story.

After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it. And I should warn you even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want kiss me passionately or slap me silly. Bang.

I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every woman on this site. I'm not for beginners, and if you are a beginner, I recommend gaining some entry-level experience with the illiterate knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers in my "Similar Users" box.

Just look at those fools below me sitting down there like a panel of socially inept misfits and desperate virgins. Taking pictures of themselves almost right after they go to the gym in the bathroom, wearing sunglasses that they "invested" their whole paycheck in at there slightly higher than minimum wage job. Don't forget they have on their single most expensive outfit pretending not to flex while holding their lousy camera phone. They'll probably send you a pitiful message, almost pleading for a response to their painfully generic question. You think about these guys and the lame messages you've received and something in you feels that your chance of finding a worthwhile person on a sight about fish just... wriggle away. If you are fooled by those guys please STOP READING now and keep nursing your inbox for something a little more lackluster.

Still here? Good, now by comparison you may be asking yourself how were you lucky enough to discover this Cadillac of a man and where does he get the audacity to say such things. Read on.

For you discerning women, here is a short list of facts and ideas from the most amazing man youll ever meet, ME:

1, I am the best thing to come to online dating since you discovered how to take pictures of yourself at and "angle"

2. You say you like to cuddle? It's not enough to enjoy it- I compete. I was the 2007-09 interstate cuddling champion, Google it.

3.This is kind of a big deal but I've been voted to have the 7th best hair on Facebook, check the records.

4. You say Chivalry is dead? Well even though you women killed it- I'm bringing it back. None of that holding the door or giving you my umbrella nonsense. I'm talking real chivalry. You'll be a bonnet wearing, illiterate, non voting, chained to the stove with a heavy weight- actual woman.

5. While studying in Japan I developed affinity to Japanese. If you speak it, I will give you 3 points upgrade on your hotness scale. You're a 6? Now you're a 9! Not a bad deal, if you ask me. (Will work out a similar scale for Russian speakers)

6. I like everything HOT: hot dogs, hot tubs, hot peppers, Hot Wheels, walking on hot coals, hot chocolate, hot springs, anything hot off the grill or press, salsa, chillies, wasabi, the weather, whatever. Yeah, you know EXACTLY where I'm going with this.

7. Can I hold an intelligent conversation?
Fuggetaboutit

8. Am I just trying to get into your pants? No. Actually, I'm trying to get you out of them.

9. Unlike these other idiots, I know how to use spell checker, you should too.

10. I'm high successful online dater, which I believe is the epitome of human accomplishment.

11. My only fault is that I have none. You, too, should be perfect in every way.

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Want To Find:A woman ages 18 to 42 to date
Interests:Didn't Say