Home   Sign In   Join   Search   Forums
9/13/17 11:25 AM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

I recently got hired by a retailer that I would have quit much sooner, but because of my recent attraction to a particular fellow employee (we will just call him "Andrew"), I have ultimately elected to stay just a bit longer (just in-case I could get his contact info before quitting - provided he would ever be interested in doing so).
By all accounts (from what other co-workers have told me), he is single (and has been for some time) although I doubt he has been single for as long as me (ten years before meeting my most recent ex).Co-workers have said that he's honest, kind and extremely quiet and shy (one of his co-workers says that "Andrew" still calls him "sir" despite working with him for years) and doesn't know much about him, other than him being the quiet type.
Another co-worker told me he loves Star Wars (like me) which has provided me with some hope, as well... but unfortunately, I am shy as hell, too. I have good reason for being withdrawn - ten years of being out of practice with anything even remotely dealing with dating, and a nasty, strung out breakup based on lies for nearly two years, etc...
He ("Andrew") did try to start a conversation with me once a while back, but I brushed him off with a bunch of mechanical responses, before darting back off to finish my work. I have been avoiding him, but he does say "Hello" and "goodbye" to me every now and then. Usually, I just lower my eyes, smile and say a quick "you too" (when avoiding him becomes impossible - as we pass by one another) Sometimes, on occasion, he will hang out with other co-workers in a department next to mine (about 50 or so feet away) to linger after he clocks out (he is second shift, and I am third shift). There are at least four other co-workers who told me that I unless I ask him - I will never know, so "just go for it...." But we never even had a real conversation. It's not really my style to just ask for a date right off the bat before at least talking with him, first.
Just don't know how to really approach him in a way that feels natural and organic (when I feel so self-conscious about having any interaction with him at all) and I can't seem to shake the fear away, either... because if I do end up asking him, and he says no - it's going to be insanely awkward working with him from that point on.
What's the difference between the signs of a shy co-worker being interested and attracted to you, and a shy man who isn't interested? Thanks in advance...


Meet singles at DateHookup.com, we're 100% free! Join now!


9/13/17 11:27 AM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Also, he is 43 and I am 33. Any advice to my question (last line) is truly appreciated. Thanks.

9/13/17 11:31 AM 

xman379
Over 2,000 Posts (2,113)
Richmond, VA

If you're feeling particularly nervous about approaching the guy, try slipping him a short note expressing your interest in him with your contact info.

I know, it sounds juvenile, but it actually DOES work and it's relatively discrete.


9/13/17 11:51 AM 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 2,000 Posts (3,490)
Houston, TX

Also, he is 43 and I am 33. Any advice to my question (last line) is truly appreciated. Thanks.

Move to Texas, find a 50yr old who would take you in free room and meals and copious amounts of sexy time.


9/13/17 12:14 PM 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,416)
New South Wales
Australia
online now!


Perhaps you could try to talk to him a bit more and get to know him?
That would give opportunities for flirting and other stuff.
I think some real conversation with him would allow you to gauge his interest in you and if he is open to dating you.
When you don't really know if he is interested from prior convos etc, just randomly asking for a date is kind of a stab in the dark really. Kinda weird as well if you think about it.
Like if you have usually brushed him off he might be taken aback if you just suddenly ask him out?
I would think the most natural and organic way would be to open up to him a bit and see if he reciprocates interest in getting to know you and more conversations and
see if he flirts or reciprocates flirting.
Then would be a more appropriate time to ask.


9/13/17 12:16 PM 
sinceresammy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,193)
Dayton, OH


The guy has all the ear marks of a serial killer, or he is gay. Forget it and move on.

9/13/17 12:46 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from sadlsticsienna:
Perhaps you could try to talk to him a bit more and get to know him?
That would give opportunities for flirting and other stuff.
I think some real conversation with him would allow you to gauge his interest in you and if he is open to dating you.
When you don't really know if he is interested from prior convos etc, just randomly asking for a date is kind of a stab in the dark really. Kinda weird as well if you think about it.
Like if you have usually brushed him off he might be taken aback if you just suddenly ask him out?
I would think the most natural and organic way would be to open up to him a bit and see if he reciprocates interest in getting to know you and more conversations and
see if he flirts or reciprocates flirting.
Then would be a more appropriate time to ask.


I actually did contemplate just approaching him casually and saying: "Hey, I heard you like Star Wars, etc.." but I am too afraid that he might incorrectly perceive that as: "Oh, how did she know I like Star Wars; I never told her - unless she actually asked about me in advance....Wow, creepy."
Truth is, I was telling another co-worker (Stacey) that I was a bit bummed that this huge Boba Fett spin off film was still not promised (due to disagreements by Disney and Lucas Films). Boba Fett is my all-time favorite character. My favorite villain(s) are Abeloth and Darth Valkorion. That's when she volunteered that information to me. Which did boost some of my confidence up (because I know so much about it) but as soon as I saw him pass by, I thought "Forget it" lol.
When I avoid eye contact with him, only to briefly look at him - I sometimes catch him looking at me (don't really know if he stares - as I said I briefly look up at him from time to time and immediately look away) when my attraction sometimes over-rules my want in avoiding him. But I feel like I need more prior data before investing any more risks than I am willing (or not willing) to take. I just wish he would be the one to approach me for casual conversation....again, lol.


9/13/17 1:12 PM 

neal356
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,007)
Oxford, AL

Quote from lareveur:
I actually did contemplate just approaching him casually and saying: "Hey, I heard you like Star Wars, etc.." but I am too afraid that he might incorrectly perceive that as: "Oh, how did she know I like Star Wars; I never told her - unless she actually asked about me in advance....Wow, creepy."
Truth is, I was telling another co-worker (Stacey) that I was a bit bummed that this huge Boba Fett spin off film was still not promised (due to disagreements by Disney and Lucas Films). Boba Fett is my all-time favorite character. My favorite villain(s) are Abeloth and Darth Valkorion. That's when she volunteered that information to me. Which did boost some of my confidence up (because I know so much about it) but as soon as I saw him pass by, I thought "Forget it" lol.
When I avoid eye contact with him, only to briefly look at him - I sometimes catch him looking at me (don't really know if he stares - as I said I briefly look up at him from time to time and immediately look away) when my attraction sometimes over-rules my want in avoiding him. But I feel like I need more prior data before investing any more risks than I am willing (or not willing) to take. I just wish he would be the one to approach me for casual conversation....again, lol.


you are a Sweetie, ask him out for coffee. I bet he will say yes. Good Luck to you


9/13/17 2:26 PM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,108)
Saint Paul, MN


He's doomed to live with his mother until he dies alone. Why should he break out of his shell? You give him absolutely no encouragement, play games with him and yet want his contact information! You're as shy as he is and both of you are terrified of making the first move! He says hi and you blow him off and then wonder why he doesn't approach you! You need to give him some encouragement if you want to have a chance with him, but I doubt you two are a match. One of you has to play the man and take charge and every time he makes a first move, says you blow him off and shut him down!!!!! You two are just messing around like the kids in junior high. Quit your damn job and the two of you can die alone and friendless. I know of what I speak. In real life I'm quiet and shy too. Why do you think I've never been married and gone out with the losers that I have? One of you is going to have to develop a personality.

9/13/17 2:31 PM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,108)
Saint Paul, MN


And if you ask him out and he says no it will be awkward???? DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! He's thinking the same thing and he's probably thinking he'll never find another job so he's staying right where he's at! You two should give it up and go your separate ways. If you shut down a man he'll try to figure out if you're worth chasing, but a guy like this will go off and watch the game on TV and see if Mommy has done his laundry yet. He's never going to chase you so stop waiting and if he did you'd probably tell him no anyhow. But still you want to go out with him! A hamster on a wheel will get farther than you two.

9/13/17 2:35 PM 

easttowest72
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,411)
Bremen, GA

Ask him for help with something at your place. (like moving the sofa). When you get him there rape him. If he likes it he will want to help move all your furniture.

9/13/17 3:18 PM 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 2,000 Posts (3,490)
Houston, TX

You know if this was a guy he'd be fired for sexual harassment.

9/13/17 3:21 PM 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (265,572)
Assumption, IL


Not so.

In order to terminate an employee due to sexual harassment several Prima facial conditions must be met or the employer opens themselves up to civil liability for wrongful termination. Oops


9/13/17 3:23 PM 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 2,000 Posts (3,490)
Houston, TX

Not so.

In order to terminate an employee due to sexual harassment several Prima facial conditions must be met or the employer opens themselves up to civil liability for wrongful termination. Oops


So you can only fire someone for sexual harassment if they give you a facial?

Texas again, you can fire someone for whatever you like!




[Edited 9/13/2017 3:23:58 PM ]

9/13/17 4:23 PM 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (265,572)
Assumption, IL


In Texas -- an at will state -- an employer had better NOT fire an employee for a Civil Rights complaint until Due Process has been met.

No way you cut it: Federal Law superceeds State Law.


9/13/17 4:52 PM 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (86,737)
Green Bay, WI


I'm sometimes shy myself but I managed to make myself notice if I like someone, just drop something near him, so he can pick it up then start a conversation take it from there ask him out, and that's a yes or no answer

9/13/17 5:34 PM 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,805)
New Port Richey, FL


Offer him a quick blowjob out back and if you still swallow, he's yours forever, or until the next slut comes along!!!

9/13/17 6:25 PM 

hope823
Lumberton, NJ

Quote from easttowest72:
Ask him for help with something at your place. (like moving the sofa). When you get him there rape him. If he likes it he will want to help move all your furniture.


Now she is a fack friend.


9/13/17 6:44 PM 

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,955)
Pewaukee, WI

Hmm... I have no problems in asking for the things that I want in life.

However, I would not be interested in someone who was too shy to approach me.

I prefer men who are more dominant than I am.

If someone is INTERESTED in you, they usually take steps to be in the same place that you are and eventually you realize that you have a stalker.

Anyhow... the only thing I can think of is Halloween is coming up soon, I don't particularly like the Princess Leia costume. However, it is a very recognizable Star Wars character.

I look cuter as a sexy storm trooper. though.

Our bank allows us to dress up for Halloween as long as we don't choose a bank robber outfit.



9/13/17 7:53 PM 

inkedandsassyy
Over 2,000 Posts (3,137)
Victoria
Australia


Would never go out with a co worker ...Thats one way to Feck up your job ...

9/13/17 8:27 PM 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,805)
New Port Richey, FL


Quote from lucky_1million:
Hmm... I have no problems in asking for the things that I want in life.

However, I would not be interested in someone who was too shy to approach me.

I prefer men who are more dominant than I am.

If someone is INTERESTED in you, they usually take steps to be in the same place that you are and eventually you realize that you have a stalker.

Anyhow... the only thing I can think of is Halloween is coming up soon, I don't particularly like the Princess Leia costume. However, it is a very recognizable Star Wars character.

I look cuter as a sexy storm trooper. though.

Our bank allows us to dress up for Halloween as long as we don't choose a bank robber outfit.



That's not PC!!! What exactly does a bank robber dress like??




[Edited 9/13/2017 8:28:15 PM ]

9/13/17 9:37 PM 
nymeria73
Milan
Italy


Quote from lareveur:

Just don't know how to really approach him in a way that feels natural and organic (when I feel so self-conscious about having any interaction with him at all) and I can't seem to shake the fear away, either... because if I do end up asking him, and he says no - it's going to be insanely awkward working with him from that point on.
What's the difference between the signs of a shy co-worker being interested and attracted to you, and a shy man who isn't interested? Thanks in advance...


Well, to start with stop avoiding him. You said you have been doing that, although I don't know the details. When he says "Hello", do not lower your eyes and just answer with a quick "you too". Look him in the eyes and say: Hello, Andrew. How are you,what have you been doing these days, anything interesting/new (insert smile)?
If there are occasios when he will hang out with other co-workers in the department next to yours, go there and hang out a bit. See what happens. That's a great chance for you, since there are other people around and you will feel less akward and obvious.
Finally, if you end up to ask him and he says no it is not the end of the world. If you like this guy and you think it's worth a try, do it. Men approach us women all the time, with a high risk of being rejected all the time and they survive. You will as well.


9/14/17 8:41 AM 

_purdibirdi_
Nice
France


Never a good idea to "Honey" your "Money" I guess it would be okay it you quit this job cuz that way if it doesn't work out, you don't have to avoid one another at your work place.

9/14/17 8:51 AM 
killerbugs53
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,023)
Palo Cedro, CA

Not a good idea if things don't work out then it becomes a very uncomfortable situation most of the time.

9/14/17 9:01 AM 
sinceresammy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,193)
Dayton, OH


Wait until she exits the building and waggle your c*ck at her! If she smiles, you've got a date!

9/14/17 9:09 AM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from nymeria73:
Well, to start with stop avoiding him. You said you have been doing that, although I don't know the details. When he says "Hello", do not lower your eyes and just answer with a quick "you too". Look him in the eyes and say: "Hello, Andrew. How are you,what have you been doing these days, anything interesting/new?" (insert smile)


^ As an outgoing individual, I am sure that could be so easily done as though it were second nature... but I have always been a loner / hermit. All my life. Before computers, my way of socializing was through books (even though I was picky), then Wikipedia, then debate forums, etc... So, that really would be the most difficult part for me to act on; based on your advice - which is good and all... it's just the words that I already have with those closest to me - I lack with him. Walking is second nature, but whenever it's around him - I feel as though I suffer from severe psycho-motor retardation lol. Also, I have almost no prior data of who he is, what he likes, for conversation, etc... and the fact that I have already technically placed far more prior value to him (via said attraction) just raises the stakes that much higher - that it feels the risk itself had dissolved into analysis paralysis, I guess?

This is me, when he says a simple hello lol...



Quote from nymeria73:
If there are occasions when he will hang out with other co-workers in the department next to yours, go there and hang out a bit. See what happens. That's a great chance for you, since there are other people around and you will feel less akward and obvious.


^ I appreciate that, but that's too direct and intrusive for someone like me. I might as well just approach him and say: "Hey, baby. I heard you like Star Wars and been lookin' for love in Alderaan places" lol. I would feel as though I intruded on a potentially private moment shared between those he obviously felt comfortable enough to overcome his shyness in speaking / socializing with them, as well as making it obvious that I somehow chose that precise moment to emerge in close proximity to him... simply for a shallow reason (such as feigning interest in what others have to say - when my real motive is to work on him) feels false... in other words, I would feel like a straight up stalker with ulterior motives. Plus all of the co-workers we mutually get along with would know that me simply approaching a group to just start talking is already out of character for me... usually I just hang around (because they all decided to share the same area to talk - with me just quietly listening.

Quote from nymeria73:
Finally, if you end up to ask him and he says no it is not the end of the world. If you like this guy and you think it's worth a try, do it. Men approach us women all the time, with a high risk of being rejected all the time and they survive. You will as well.

Yes, and why is that not STILL going on, hmmm lol? I miss the benefits lol For the most part - I used to be fine with it (no risk on me lol ) That is probably the only hypocritical form of feminism that I actually like lol! "You ask ME (the double standard woman) out and do all the risk by delivering all those goodies to me, NOT me...you, you MALE-MAN!" lol.
The tactic... God, I hate having to use that word for something like this (when I really just wish I could manifest some ignorance of my blatant attraction towards him) but yeah, any way - My "plan" is to simply catch him (that sounds horrible too lol) when he is naturally just passing by and simply say: "Hey, I heard you like Star Wars?" That way, it's "passive aggressive" enough to put myself out there (with a safe topic I know plenty about), while simultaneously not being so awkwardly obvious about anything else... just to feel him out, I guess? Thank God he loves Star Wars instead of something I know absolutely nothing about... like cars or astrology lol: "Well I heard you love Astrology, but I just came here to tell you that I do not believe in Astrology, because I'm a Capricorn - and Capricorns are skeptical by nature, so it was lovely telling you that useless piece of trivia - goodbye." LoL.
Socially, my biggest fear is to offend or intrude on anyone. It causes me to run for the hills, and I can't say I would be a happy camper if I ever once realized I caused him any of that...
Or maybe I should just quit my job, and move on to Techmer and test fate - but then again... if it weren't for my bad luck, I would have no luck at all. Plus, I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes to matters of "fate." Mine is more... critical thought, I guess lol?
Ugh. I don't know.


9/14/17 9:10 AM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Sorry for the 'wall of text' that even Trump would be proud of, lol.

9/14/17 9:19 AM 

dark_gable0585
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,667)
Sacramento, CA

Smh

9/14/17 4:25 PM 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,805)
New Port Richey, FL


Those lips of yours would be hard to resist!!! j/s

9/15/17 12:11 AM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,108)
Saint Paul, MN


Quit the job and find something better to do. With a shy guy you have to encourage him not push him away.

9/15/17 2:20 PM 
nymeria73
Milan
Italy


lareveur, my rule is "never mess with a co-worker". It ends bad, usually.
However, if you really like this guy and want to get to know him better go for it. Don't overthink this, otherwise you'll never know.


9/15/17 3:50 PM 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 2,000 Posts (3,490)
Houston, TX

In Texas -- an at will state -- an employer had better NOT fire an employee for a Civil Rights complaint until Due Process has been met.

No way you cut it: Federal Law superceeds State Law.


Um sexual harassment isn't civil rights ...you don't have the right to sexual harrass someone


9/15/17 6:11 PM 

sillylaugher61
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,836)
Murrysville, PA


Quote from inkedandsassyy:
Would never go out with a co worker ...Thats one way to Feck up your job ...



That is so true! The owner of a chemical plant that I worked at. One day he brought his
girlfriend to his office. His wife caught him banging the girlfriend. Cost him
$ 50 Million. The company went into bankruptcy and closed soon afterwards.


9/15/17 6:51 PM 

pickygirl72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,666)
Eagle, AK


Here is a thought stop avoiding him. Slowly start talking to him. If he is interested he will make a move. If he keeps his convos short with you and he doesn't really make the extra effort to talk to you or wants to hang with you he is NOT interested.

9/15/17 9:07 PM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,108)
Saint Paul, MN


Instead of playing junior hi games just hit on the guy, buy him lunch or something, let him know you're interested and see what he does. If you're to gutless to do that then you now understand how the guy feels! A guy doesn't need a woman who is seriously interested but who shuts the guy down anyway.

9/15/17 11:27 PM 

dark_gable0585
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,667)
Sacramento, CA

There is a old saying....
"Close mouths don't get fed"
So you avoiding him and then tried to talk to him that's considered playing head games....
You gonna learn today


9/16/17 12:24 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from driver406:
Instead of playing junior hi games just hit on the guy, buy him lunch or something, let him know you're interested and see what he does. If you're to gutless to do that then you now understand how the guy feels! A guy doesn't need a woman who is seriously interested but who shuts the guy down anyway.


Alright, this counter argument is elementary, so I will be as gentle to you as I can.... you're welcome by the way.
First of all, being shy or intimidated by someone you're attracted to is not "junior high," and ascribing such negative labels to my personality and (or) behavior - instead of viewing it more maturely yourself from a more situational perspective isn't going to save your point of view, either. It becomes rather hypocritical and.... well, irrelevant.
No, I will not offer to buy him lunch (because as a reserved, introverted individual) I don't take blind risks... I take calculated risks...especially in a professional environment such as work - I won't take any shots without at least some dialogue showing me that the prospects of both his character and personality can be deemed as 'promising' for the long haul - in terms of mutual compatibility. If everyone just bought lunch for every person they're attracted to (right off the bat), there would be a lot more nasty break ups, horrific dates and empty wallets for every time your first date turned into a psycho over a misunderstood menu title such as: "Denny's Grand Slam sausage." I would rather just keep my wallet fat and leave. Because I refuse to join that statistic lol.
As for the last line, that is probably your most effective point, so yes I agree. But then again, that's really why I'm here taking advice - so I can learn how to overcome such social vices WITHOUT it turning into a game. As I stated in my earlier posts, I want this to be as natural as possible. Not contrived.


9/16/17 12:37 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Also, I did finally try engaging him in conversation earlier today (as he passed by with an empty pallet jack) by saying: "Hey, I heard you like Star Wars, is that true?"
^ And yes, that was very difficult for me even doing just that (just to illustrate how deplorably introverted I actually am).
His reply was something to the effect of: "Yes, ma'am," as he proceeded to continue walking to the back storage room.
Naturally, I was a little disappointed that I didn't have the opportunity to elaborate further on it with him as I had originally hoped, but I could tell he was busy.
But at least I tried, and I am pretty sure that by simply bringing it to his attention out of the blue, he can now decide for himself if he wants to engage a fellow Star Wars fan by elaborating further on it the next day with me, or not.
^ Sadly, that's about as aggressive as I can get (as far as pursuing men goes). So, if he decides not to, then there really isn't much I can do about it... other than to coyly smirk at the thought of him missing out on all my awesome Star Wars essays I wrote; which would be beyond tragic....for him lol.


9/16/17 12:38 PM 

mrfckinpetey
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,860)
Orlando, FL
online now!


Gotta risk it for the biscuit. Just tell him how you feel. Write a note if you're a total p*ssy.

9/16/17 1:27 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from mrfckinpetey:
Gotta risk it for the biscuit. Just tell him how you feel. Write a note if you're a total p*ssy.


If I wrote a note in giving him the unwanted compliment that I think he's hot - then I just handed him physical evidence that I sexually harassed a fellow co-worker at my job.
Maybe outside of work that's considered a cowardly move...but at Walmart, you can't even cry real wet tears over a romantic rejection - without being fired and accused of engaging in a "wet T-shirt contest," on your job, lol. A note will only further prove that a pink slip isn't always what we wished it "represented," lol.
I still choose the job. I may like him - but for now, I like food even more lol.


9/16/17 1:29 PM 
john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Larev!

9/16/17 1:30 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from john_cnc:
Larev!


John!


9/16/17 1:30 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Are you paying attention lol?


9/16/17 1:31 PM 
john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Hope you're doing well.

I moved!


9/16/17 1:32 PM 

mrfckinpetey
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,860)
Orlando, FL
online now!


Quote from lareveur:
If I wrote a note in giving him the unwanted compliment that I think he's hot - then I just handed him physical evidence that I sexually harassed a fellow co-worker at my job.
Maybe outside of work that's considered a cowardly move...but at Walmart, you can't even cry real wet tears over a romantic rejection - without being fired and accused of engaging in a "wet T-shirt contest," on your job, lol. A note will only further prove that a pink slip isn't always what we wished it "represented," lol.
I still choose the job. I may like him - but for now, I like food even more lol.


Leave a note asking him if he wants lunch or something. Start simple, but yeah at the end of the day it's a risk to your job. You either take the risk or you don't.


9/16/17 1:42 PM 
john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Quote from lareveur:
Are you paying attention lol?


Oh. No, not really. Just saw you there and popped in quick.


9/16/17 1:45 PM 
john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Quote from lareveur:
Also, he is 43 and I am 33. Any advice to my question (last line) is truly appreciated. Thanks.


The shy one who likes you will stare.











Possible 'chatting' detected. You have already posted in this thread recently. Please wait for some other people to reply before posting in this thread again, or wait like an hour or so, whichever comes first. Sorry for the inconvenience.

This message might annoy you a bit, however we want to make sure more than a couple of people get a chance to respond in a thread. The 'chat' forums and groups don't have this restriction, only a few forums actually have it. You will almost never get this message if you post thoughtful, on-topic replies.


9/16/17 1:46 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Start simple in asking him for lunch lol?...

..."Hey, want to go get some bread and water? We can keep things simple and maybe progress up to spaghetti and meat balls in six months. I'll try eating the meat balls appropriately - given Walmart's strict conduct policies, and shit pay." LoL.

Yep - it's now time for me to get some sleep, obviously lol.


9/16/17 1:49 PM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from john_cnc:
The shy one who likes you will stare.


^ Unfortunately, I only look at him briefly - not along enough to determine if he ever stares at me. So, the only data I have is that I do catch him looking at me (when I finally do look up at him as I'm passing by).

It really puts that whole saying of: "two passing ships in the dark" into some real perspective lol.

Because others have told me that he is shy.


9/16/17 1:52 PM 

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,955)
Pewaukee, WI

Quote from mrfckinpetey:
Gotta risk it for the biscuit. Just tell him how you feel. Write a note if you're a total p*ssy.


Idk... notes seem sort of junior high.

I'd rather have things progress organically.

Some places have work parties for holidays or there is someone who is good at organizing get-togethers after work. This gives you a chance to socialize in a more relaxed environment.

I dated someone I worked with for 4 years. It happened because we ended up being short staffed for a period of time and we closed together a lot.

Go figure how that happened.


9/16/17 1:53 PM 
john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Next time he rolls by, throw something at him, or stick your tongue out at him. Something silly just to get his attention. And smile.

Then if he's still to shy to approach you within the next day or so, it ain't gonna happen.


9/16/17 2:51 PM 

mrfckinpetey
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,860)
Orlando, FL
online now!


Quote from lucky_1million:
Idk... notes seem sort of junior high.

I'd rather have things progress organically.

Some places have work parties for holidays or there is someone who is good at organizing get-togethers after work. This gives you a chance to socialize in a more relaxed environment.

I dated someone I worked with for 4 years. It happened because we ended up being short staffed for a period of time and we closed together a lot.

Go figure how that happened.


For people to shy to talk, notes sometimes can fill it.


9/17/17 11:58 AM 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Clinton, TN

Quote from mrfckinpetey:
For people to shy to talk, notes sometimes can fill it.


I thought about just jotting down the URL to my facebook profile (seeing as how very rarely will a person's shy behavior be carried over when it's safely behind the anonymity of the keyboard). The only problem is that I feel a need to get to know him a bit more first, before doing so.
Sadly, Walmart works us all at a frantic pace with a skeleton crew. My own manager told me I had 2.5 hours (according to their print out) to complete 9 pallets of freight that were all no less than 5'10 high. Plus, they interrupt that process all the time by having us all go out and collect 100 or more shopping carts in their huge parking lot, grabbing a pallet jack to run to the backroom to unload a last minute truck, and constantly help customer find any particular random item in a 170,000+ square foot store.
Plus, he is overworked on second shift and I am overworked on third, so our breaks don't exactly coincide with one another either. The only time I ever saw him socialize with other co-workers that were on my shift is when he is clocked out and just decided to chat with older co-workers (who have been employed there longer) before leaving.
So, I thought I could use the lack of free time and slack (from work) as a reason for possibly saying to him: "Well, I have been meaning to discuss more Star Wars with you (which was why I asked you about it the other day) but it seems that the current condition of our jobs leave us with very little time. So, I thought I would give you my facebook info, because I'm usually rather reserved and shy over such things, but you seem like a pretty stand up guy - so, here it is." And simply hand him the note with my facebook info and simply let it be up to him....
...Or something like that....
Unfortunately, that would truly be the most aggressive act of pursuance I would ever carry out, which would require me to avoid passing out (let alone blushing) lol.


9/17/17 3:31 PM 
bluesrule
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,416)
Marshalltown, IA


You sure seem to be over thinking things. Get some gumption and make the first move if you are really that interested. The worst that can happen is he says no. Which might be a good thing in the long run since you are saving and seriously thinking of moving back to California. Why start something if you know you won't be staying put?




9/17/17 3:58 PM 

stratus55
Over 2,000 Posts (2,591)
Jackson, GA

listen to the allman bros..when they sing,o i aint wastin time no more

after my wife died i wasnt shy i was confident an tall,an look hansome an carry a big stick,i dated about 5 or 7 off of here,but even p*ssy an pot smoke,cant replace a 23 year companion, etc..go for it,do somethin,before you see him with someone else then hunny you,ll be sayin,whups by being shy an a little girl,i might have f**ked up..go for a try......star wars,o lord please......star trek,an spock an captain kirk.out there somewhere..an women i never had..go for it ...an then,you will finally know....star wars,i tried so hard to like it,me an the wife ,but nope......good luck,were all the same........but different......


9/17/17 4:14 PM 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,805)
New Port Richey, FL


Don't offer to buy lunch, simply ask him what he's doing for lunch and if he hasn't any plans would he like to join you and hear some of your Star Wars stories.

9/17/17 6:52 PM 

lightbrownie1
Johnston, IA

I would wear something that has Star wars on it..(if that's appropriate for your job).

If not...I would probably try to strike a conversation with him.
Like...how long you been working here and how long does it take to get first and second shift.
Ask him if he's always worked second shift.


9/17/17 6:55 PM 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (265,572)
Assumption, IL




Say "Hello" and smile


If you can't handle this by yourself at your age how are you going to know which toilet to use?


9/17/17 7:50 PM 

M4mischief
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,227)
Grand Prairie, TX


Quote from lareveur:
I thought about just jotting down the URL to my facebook profile (seeing as how very rarely will a person's shy behavior be carried over when it's safely behind the anonymity of the keyboard). The only problem is that I feel a need to get to know him a bit more first, before doing so.
Sadly, Walmart works us all at a frantic pace with a skeleton crew. My own manager told me I had 2.5 hours (according to their print out) to complete 9 pallets of freight that were all no less than 5'10 high. Plus, they interrupt that process all the time by having us all go out and collect 100 or more shopping carts in their huge parking lot, grabbing a pallet jack to run to the backroom to unload a last minute truck, and constantly help customer find any particular random item in a 170,000+ square foot store.
Plus, he is overworked on second shift and I am overworked on third, so our breaks don't exactly coincide with one another either. The only time I ever saw him socialize with other co-workers that were on my shift is when he is clocked out and just decided to chat with older co-workers (who have been employed there longer) before leaving.
So, I thought I could use the lack of free time and slack (from work) as a reason for possibly saying to him: "Well, I have been meaning to discuss more Star Wars with you (which was why I asked you about it the other day) but it seems that the current condition of our jobs leave us with very little time. So, I thought I would give you my facebook info, because I'm usually rather reserved and shy over such things, but you seem like a pretty stand up guy - so, here it is." And simply hand him the note with my facebook info and simply let it be up to him....
...Or something like that....
Unfortunately, that would truly be the most aggressive act of pursuance I would ever carry out, which would require me to avoid passing out (let alone blushing) lol.



How do your expect to get to know him more if you cant even talk to him?...Invite him for a coffee....that's they only way you're gonna get to know him better....by talking to him face to face...otherwise....aint nothing gonna happen....


9/18/17 1:07 AM 
anglicus_femina
Over 1,000 Posts (1,992)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom


Quote from lareveur:
I recently got hired by a retailer that I would have quit much sooner, but because of my recent attraction to a particular fellow employee (we will just call him "Andrew"), I have ultimately elected to stay just a bit longer (just in-case I could get his contact info before quitting - provided he would ever be interested in doing so).
By all accounts (from what other co-workers have told me), he is single (and has been for some time) although I doubt he has been single for as long as me (ten years before meeting my most recent ex).Co-workers have said that he's honest, kind and extremely quiet and shy (one of his co-workers says that "Andrew" still calls him "sir" despite working with him for years) and doesn't know much about him, other than him being the quiet type.
Another co-worker told me he loves Star Wars (like me) which has provided me with some hope, as well... but unfortunately, I am shy as hell, too. I have good reason for being withdrawn - ten years of being out of practice with anything even remotely dealing with dating, and a nasty, strung out breakup based on lies for nearly two years, etc...
He ("Andrew") did try to start a conversation with me once a while back, but I brushed him off with a bunch of mechanical responses, before darting back off to finish my work. I have been avoiding him, but he does say "Hello" and "goodbye" to me every now and then. Usually, I just lower my eyes, smile and say a quick "you too" (when avoiding him becomes impossible - as we pass by one another) Sometimes, on occasion, he will hang out with other co-workers in a department next to mine (about 50 or so feet away) to linger after he clocks out (he is second shift, and I am third shift). There are at least four other co-workers who told me that I unless I ask him - I will never know, so "just go for it...." But we never even had a real conversation. It's not really my style to just ask for a date right off the bat before at least talking with him, first.
Just don't know how to really approach him in a way that feels natural and organic (when I feel so self-conscious about having any interaction with him at all) and I can't seem to shake the fear away, either... because if I do end up asking him, and he says no - it's going to be insanely awkward working with him from that point on.
What's the difference between the signs of a shy co-worker being interested and attracted to you, and a shy man who isn't interested? Thanks in advance...


Why don't you start with perhaps asking him to help you with something at work? As he is helping you try and actively engage in a conversation.

There needs to be a starting point. I wouldn't assume that he's shy personally some people will go to work just and just see it as that. They don't get personal and see it as they are there to just work.

As his colleagues know he's single that to me is a gòod indication he is open to conversation and to a degree people getting to know him.