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8/26/17 9:46 AM 

john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

On a long distance trip, was spending the night in a town near an old childhood friend of lives now. We met at applebee's last night. I have loved this girl since I was 16 years old. We had a lot our laughs. It was a really nice time She of course kindly offered for me to go to her place to spend the night figuring I'd leave in the Morning as planned. I declined saying I didn't want to impose. Now it's the next day and I still have some time before I leave. So I call her to see she like to get together for breakfast or something and she's not answering. How bad did I screw this up? I'm f****** killing myself right now!

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8/26/17 10:01 AM 

eric22t
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,808)
Londonderry, NH


you screwed up badly. irreparably

if it had been an imposition she would NOT have offered


8/26/17 10:29 AM 

lightbrownie1
Johnston, IA

I wouldn't say that you screwed up anything, you were polite in not taking up on the offer which could have led to other things that perhaps should not have, at least at this point.

However, you left out some details, such as why did you travel to see this person, was it a mutual feeling of love in the past?
Have you been having conversations with her for some time prior to you meeting her?

I don't know why she didn't answer, perhaps she was sleep, didn't hear her phone, but I really don't think its because you didn't take up on her offer.




[Edited 8/26/2017 10:30:21 AM ]

8/26/17 11:13 AM 

inde_5
Over 2,000 Posts (3,963)
Bonaire, GA

...i agree, she couldve just been sleeping late.

Or already off to work & couldnt reply.

Id only see it as an issue..if she had been avoiding you for days.


8/26/17 11:31 AM 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,508)
Gwynn Oak, MD


Eric was on point like Bow & Arrow equipment.

If it was an imposition she would NOT have invited you in the first place. Obviously she was feeling something if nothing but horny BCUZ you got an invite instead of the BRUSH OFF! Women are so use to DOING the rejecting that it f**ks them up when BEING rejected. Hence she's not answering.

The best thing you can do now is send her a text to explain yourself. That wanting her all those years made you feel a lil shook when she invited you to her and the wrong thing was said unintentionally bcuz you was thinking "I don't wanna mess this up seeming TOO eager!" That you apologize and hope she can forgive your momentary high School of rejection.

Then put a or a of some sort afterwards.


8/26/17 11:44 AM 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,482)
New South Wales
Australia
online now!


It was just 1 thing, give it a chance to see what she says when you do get in contact

8/26/17 11:45 AM 

dr_i_got_answer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,508)
Gwynn Oak, MD


Quote from lightbrownie1:
However, you left out some details, such as why did you travel to see this person, was it a mutual feeling of love in the past?
Have you been having conversations with her for some time prior to you meeting her?

I don't know why she didn't answer, perhaps she was sleep, didn't hear her phone, but I really don't think its because you didn't take up on her offer.


If you look at it from a "Anything Could Be In The Universe" kinda perfective then of course all the negatives that could happen comes up. Then we can say "He didn't mess up bcuz HE COULDA BEEN DEAD! But does this situation really suggest that??

And all that other stuff you mentioned is FOR WOMEN! Only a "woman" would think all that other stuff matters bcuz women tend to OVER THINK and OVER READ shit and end up coming to conclusions like "OMG HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO MARRY HIM" when all he did was take a business trip.

Look... Don't complicate matters. He was on a long distance trip to begin with and JUST HAPPEN to sleep over in this town where this chic lived. No master plans or grand sceams. They had a nice evening, she offered him some, he choked and possibly missed an opportunity THATS IT!


8/26/17 12:14 PM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,265)
Saint Paul, MN
online now!


I don't know that you did anything wrong. It could be that after a very pleasant night she has other things to do this morning.

8/26/17 12:21 PM 

enigmaathand
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,944)
Leavittsburg, OH


Quote from john_cnc:
On a long distance trip, was spending the night in a town near an old childhood friend of lives now. We met at applebee's last night. I have loved this girl since I was 16 years old. We had a lot our laughs. It was a really nice time She of course kindly offered for me to go to her place to spend the night figuring I'd leave in the Morning as planned. I declined saying I didn't want to impose. Now it's the next day and I still have some time before I leave. So I call her to see she like to get together for breakfast or something and she's not answering. How bad did I screw this up? I'm f****** killing myself right now!
Well, put your head between your legs and kiss your a** goodbye. Her invitation, to come back to her place, was her way of letting you know she was interested in "more than friends".

Basically, she was going to f**k you silly. You rejected her, and we all KNOW a WOMAN will begrudge a man that has rejected her FOR LIFE.


8/26/17 1:19 PM 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (87,039)
Green Bay, WI


Quote from lightbrownie1:
I wouldn't say that you screwed up anything, you were polite in not taking up on the offer which could have led to other things that perhaps should not have, at least at this point.

However, you left out some details, such as why did you travel to see this person, was it a mutual feeling of love in the past?
Have you been having conversations with her for some time prior to you meeting her?

I don't know why she didn't answer, perhaps she was sleep, didn't hear her phone, but I really don't think its because you didn't take up on her offer.



Right


8/26/17 2:04 PM 

lightbrownie1
Johnston, IA

Quote from dr_i_got_answer:
If you look at it from a "Anything Could Be In The Universe" kinda perfective then of course all the negatives that could happen comes up. Then we can say "He didn't mess up bcuz HE COULDA BEEN DEAD! But does this situation really suggest that??

And all that other stuff you mentioned is FOR WOMEN! Only a "woman" would think all that other stuff matters bcuz women tend to OVER THINK and OVER READ shit and end up coming to conclusions like "OMG HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO MARRY HIM" when all he did was take a business trip.

Look... Don't complicate matters. He was on a long distance trip to begin with and JUST HAPPEN to sleep over in this town where this chic lived. No master plans or grand sceams. They had a nice evening, she offered him some, he choked and possibly missed an opportunity THATS IT!


This is so funny to me"your response on what I said".

Women tend to over think and over read things what about you?
Because you have posted some over thikning subjects such as a woman.

And....who said he was on a buinness trip?

The questions I asked does matter because.
1. Who in their right mind wpuld get upset that "someone" who they "possibly" have not seen in years didn't take up on an offer to stay at their place?
So what...she may have wanted to have sex...I would not have rejected because I guy who just so happens to show up after many years decides he doesnt want to play "sleep over"
That's immature

The man said he had loved her since he was sixteen, so evidently he did not want to take advantage of the unknown.
He was respectful and in my mind I would have appreciated that he said no...then to "think" he didn't want me for sex only.

On another note...what if that is all the woman wanted and she had no feelings
..then he saved his butt from heartache.....Mr.Doctor with some odd answers


8/26/17 3:58 PM 

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,960)
Pewaukee, WI

Quote from john_cnc:
So I call her to see she like to get together for breakfast or something and she's not answering.


There's probably no hope left that you will meet for breakfast, since it is already lunch time.

People sometimes turn off their phone when they are busy doing things.

Not spending the night is respectful.

I'd say no problem to that.



I certainly wouldn't be pissed because I didn't get laid last night.

That seems immature.


8/26/17 4:03 PM 

lucky_1million
Over 1,000 Posts (1,960)
Pewaukee, WI

Hopefully you didn't call or send 50 messages though.



8/26/17 4:12 PM 

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,606)
Henderson, NV


Quote from lucky_1million:
There's probably no hope left that you will meet for breakfast, since it is already lunch time.

People sometimes turn off their phone when they are busy doing things.

Not spending the night is respectful.

I'd say no problem to that.



I certainly wouldn't be pissed because I didn't get laid last night.

That seems immature.


This, among others.

I would have offered, too, without an expectation of sex. Oddly enough, sometimes an offer of lodging is just an offer of lodging.

If she's like me she keeps her phone in her purse so she doesn't hear it.


8/26/17 4:53 PM 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (25,873)
New Port Richey, FL


Not to worry, OPie, she probably got boned by her reg. nigga boyfriend since you pussied out!!!

8/26/17 7:41 PM 

M4mischief
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,348)
Grand Prairie, TX


Only if you're willing to have a frank discussion with her to see if she feels the same...hints and reading into things never work....it takes honest communication for anything to get off the ground....other wise all you have is conjecture and attached meaning of your own to anothers action or inaction....that will just keep you guessing and spinning your wheels and go nowhere....

8/26/17 7:46 PM 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (266,177)
Assumption, IL


Only in Arkansas.

8/26/17 11:37 PM 

john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Quote from sadlsticsienna:
It was just 1 thing, give it a chance to see what she says when you do get in contact


You're a f**king genius. Her and I have spoken. I can't say whay would have happened if I had go bee to her place lady night, but everything is great and things are moving forward. Might even see her tomorrow, her idea, which would be unprecedented given that we haven't really been talking much before all this.


8/27/17 12:50 AM 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,482)
New South Wales
Australia
online now!


Quote from john_cnc:
You're a f**king genius. Her and I have spoken. I can't say whay would have happened if I had go bee to her place lady night, but everything is great and things are moving forward. Might even see her tomorrow, her idea, which would be unprecedented given that we haven't really been talking much before all this.
thanks, no one usually listens to my advice here lmao


8/27/17 3:45 AM 

deaf_heart
Over 2,000 Posts (2,448)
Killeen, TX

Quote from john_cnc:
Known her since I was 16. Love at first site. We used to hang out a lot and party. This is all long before the internet. We always got along real well.

I know I shouldn't say this next part but... This girl has supermodel good looks. I mean seriously. She smiles and it makes you feel weak with joy. Makes it that much nicer that we've always connected so well. May sound shallow, and not necessarily proud of it, but it is most certainly the truth of it.

We never really dated though. I probably should have tried bud way back then, the conpetution for her was way out of my league. So we just were friends.

Stayed good friends with her brother over the years. Reconnected with her on facebook a decade or so ago.

Seen her in person a couple of times since then when we both happened to be in our hometown simultaneously.

This last run I had ended in the suburb next to hers. I let her know I'd be in town. We met at Applebys.

Now we're talking about the future.

It's weird sort of, cuz it feels like I'm living in a different world right now. It's been decades since I've felt like thins.



Which story is the true one? If any


8/27/17 3:47 PM 

thechino
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,434)
Springfield, IL


Quote from deaf_heart:
Which story is the true one? If any


Will the real true story please stand up??


8/27/17 3:58 PM 

xman379
Over 2,000 Posts (2,135)
Richmond, VA

I wouldn't say you screwed up, though you MAY have missed an opportunity to realize a long time desire.

It happens. Most of us have hastily turned down potential opportunities, only to later regret not pursuing it.

Of course, you shouldn't assume that pursuing it means you WOULD have fulfilled your desire. It's possible that she has absolutely NO romantic interest in you and offered you vacancy PURELY out of compassion and generosity based on your friendship.

Is there any hope left?

As long as you have the desire, then there's hope.


8/28/17 5:37 AM 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (12,482)
New South Wales
Australia
online now!


Quote from john_cnc:
On a long distance trip, was spending the night in a town near an old childhood friend of lives now. We met at applebee's last night. I have loved this girl since I was 16 years old. We had a lot our laughs. It was a really nice time She of course kindly offered for me to go to her place to spend the night figuring I'd leave in the Morning as planned. I declined saying I didn't want to impose. Now it's the next day and I still have some time before I leave. So I call her to see she like to get together for breakfast or something and she's not answering. How bad did I screw this up? I'm f****** killing myself right now!

When you have known someone for so long it is less likely that your relationship will suffer a huge blow from rejecting 1 offer.

If it was a new dating partner it is more likely or if you haven't already met.

Also if it is repeated or if one person stops talking/goes cold.

If it is someone you know well or for a long time, it's more likely to have an argument than a cold fallout/outright avoidance.


8/28/17 7:46 PM 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (56,265)
Saint Paul, MN
online now!


Use it as experience for the next babe.

8/28/17 9:00 PM 

john_cnc
Buffalo, NY

Quote from sadlsticsienna:
When you have known someone for so long it is less likely that your relationship will suffer a huge blow from rejecting 1 offer.

If it was a new dating partner it is more likely or if you haven't already met.

Also if it is repeated or if one person stops talking/goes cold.

If it is someone you know well or for a long time, it's more likely to have an argument than a cold fallout/outright avoidance.


Youre striking all the right chords with thus topic.

I still haven't gone back. Gonna provably Wednesday that I head there.

I have a lot of fear building with this, cuz I already have a great and long lasting friendship with her. and now I have these additional feelings that are confusing and difficult to keep inside.


9/2/17 5:20 AM 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,887)
Enid, OK


Quote from john_cnc:
On a long distance trip, was spending the night in a town near an old childhood friend of lives now. We met at applebee's last night. I have loved this girl since I was 16 years old. We had a lot our laughs. It was a really nice time She of course kindly offered for me to go to her place to spend the night figuring I'd leave in the Morning as planned. I declined saying I didn't want to impose. Now it's the next day and I still have some time before I leave. So I call her to see she like to get together for breakfast or something and she's not answering. How bad did I screw this up? I'm f****** killing myself right now!


Nope, all hope is lost.