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4/7/17 6:51 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

I (of anyone) understand the dynamics of dysfunction.

However, at which point should people break the cycle?


As funny as all the nasty remarks are, and as justifying
as retaliation is, I've honestly come to the realization that I was my worst enemy..


What does it take for you guys to throw in the towel and forgive... Forgive others as well as yourselves?








[Edited 4/7/2017 6:52:32 AM ]

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4/7/17 6:57 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

What's the point in forgiving people?...if milk goes sour you throw it away. Always more milk at the store...and always more people who didn't f**k you over to interact with.

4/7/17 7:00 AM 
jack_gulf
Over 2,000 Posts (2,167)
Cameron, LA

Just don't hold your breath.

4/7/17 7:09 AM 

pento4
Over 1,000 Posts (1,346)
Norman, OK

i find as long as you check the mailbox everyday in nothing but your boxers,,it keeps everything in perspective

4/7/17 7:10 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN

It can't be one sided. Some have no desire to. This is what they come here for.

4/7/17 7:22 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

Quote from pento4:
i find as long as you check the mailbox everyday in nothing but your boxers,,it keeps everything in perspective



Lmao


4/7/17 7:23 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

Quote from burt_hurt:
What's the point in forgiving people?



I think it helps speed along the healing process, is all.


4/7/17 7:24 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Quote from Sinspinslim:
I think it helps speed along the healing process, is all.


I think you're just exposing yourself to reinfection...


4/7/17 7:24 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

Heather you look absolutely gorgeous.

4/7/17 7:25 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

Quote from burt_hurt:
I think you're just exposing yourself to reinfection...



I didn't mean interact with them.. Just hold no grudges..


4/7/17 7:27 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Quote from Sinspinslim:
I didn't mean interact with them.. Just hold no grudges..


Um if you don't continue to interact with them then that's not forgiveness...you are still punishing them by not continuing to interact with them.


4/7/17 7:28 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN

Quote from Sinspinslim:
Heather you look absolutely gorgeous.


Thank you Love. Lol. I had no idea that was you... Love the screen name


4/7/17 7:28 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Yeah tits look good in that pic, not pancakey at all.

4/7/17 7:34 AM 

archer513
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,458)
Cincinnati, OH


I prefer revenge.

It just feels better...


4/7/17 7:48 AM 
Sinspinslim
Brooklyn, NY

Burt, it's called forgiving but not forgetting..

4/7/17 7:50 AM 

sandcrabs
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Long Lake, WI

I just want to butter your boobs.

4/7/17 7:51 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Quote from Sinspinslim:
Burt, it's called forgiving but not forgetting..


Again, if you end the relationship as it was (be it a lover, friend etc) then you haven't forgiven them..you ARE still holding a grudge...not forgetting and not interacting with them is holding a grudge.


When Jesus forgives your sins he doesn't say

"I forgive you, but your still not coming in my house".




[Edited 4/7/2017 7:52:19 AM ]

4/7/17 8:16 AM 
eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,274)
San Antonio, TX


Quote from Sinspinslim:
Burt, it's called forgiving but not forgetting..



I dnt forgive...because I dnt ..forget.

I think true forgiveness...I'm cludes forgetting...

And I simply can't do that...can't even pretend to do that.

I will get over what ever it was..in time..remove said human frm my life...

But that is it...


4/7/17 8:17 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Quote from eyesofmedusa:

I think true forgiveness...I'm cludes forgetting...


Exactly.

My Jesus analogy is an example of true forgiveness.


4/7/17 8:18 AM 

sandcrabs
Over 2,000 Posts (2,691)
Long Lake, WI

Cleavage I've been thinking of you a lot lately.

4/7/17 8:18 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN

Quote from burt_hurt:
Yeah tits look good in that pic, not pancakey at all.


Okay Sparks was the one with the pancake boob insult, not me. Get your insults straight. Ffs


4/7/17 8:20 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Okay Sparks was the one with the pancake boob insult, not me. Get your insults straight. Ffs

? I've never addressed spark's titties and never would.../shudder.


4/7/17 8:21 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN

That's what they said to her. Mine look like f**king bowling balls...

4/7/17 8:24 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

That's what they said to her. Mine look like f**king bowling balls...

Well I don't know what others say to sparks (I have it blocked), I don't regurgitate other peoples shit.


4/7/17 8:24 AM 

easttowest72
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,593)
Bremen, GA

I received a letter from my exhusband yesterday. The first line said, The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion, slow to anger, and of great mercy psalm 145:8. Thing is in not God and I'm mad as hell. They should do a movie Diary of a mad white woman.

Women shouldn't go without a bra it causes the pancake affect....and breast feeding.


4/7/17 8:24 AM 
eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,274)
San Antonio, TX


Quote from burt_hurt:
Exactly.

My Jesus analogy is an example of true forgiveness.


That is how I see it..

And I am not Jesus...

And hv used that in a reply when asked for..forgiveness.


Sandy...you hv been thinking about a lot of women..


4/7/17 8:50 AM 

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,111)
Eugene, OR


Quote from burt_hurt:
Again, if you end the relationship as it was (be it a lover, friend etc) then you haven't forgiven them..you ARE still holding a grudge...not forgetting and not interacting with them is holding a grudge.


When Jesus forgives your sins he doesn't say

"I forgive you, but your still not coming in my house".


the idea of forgiveness is to let go of feelings of anger and feelings of resentment.
it doesn't mean someone that plans to hurt you deserves a place in your life because you're not longer angry at them.


4/7/17 8:52 AM 
eyesofmedusa
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (46,274)
San Antonio, TX


Quote from playingindirt:
the idea of forgiveness is to let go of feelings of anger and feelings of resentment.
it doesn't mean someone that plans to hurt you deserves a place in your life because you're not longer angry at them.


And most ppl...can't let go...

Or can't for a long time..

Hi Ann


4/7/17 8:55 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

the idea of forgiveness is to let go of feelings of anger and feelings of resentment.

it doesn't mean someone that plans to hurt you deserves a place in your life because you're not longer angry at them.


Well no, as per my Jesus example, forgiveness is wiping away the previous transgressions like they never happened, cleaning the soul etc and forgiving so you may enter the house of god.

If Jesus/God said "I forgive you but you're not coming into heaven"...then that's not really forgiveness is it if you are unable to go back to how things were or how things would have gone had you not done what you did...There is a consequence, a retribution.

Not being mad at someone, not feeling anger to someone doesn't = forgiveness...it just means you are not mad at them...it doesn't me you absolve them of the guilty act.




[Edited 4/7/2017 8:55:58 AM ]

4/7/17 9:23 AM 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (266,702)
Assumption, IL


Quote from Sinspinslim:
Burt, it's called forgiving but not forgetting..


SSS..... I, actually just had this exact phrase spoken to me last week by one of my children.

Her 'I am a DOM and I am in complete control of everything and everyone I choose to interact with' attitude is what becomes, ultimately, a family 'laughing-stock' joke.

The comment: You offended me; I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten --- is moot, especially when I (apparently) have no flipping idea what I, her parent, has done to offend her.

When asked by me: What did I do that offended you and receiving no reply disqualifies the "whine" from further consideration.

Pffffttttt.... Not important for further consideration.

My daughter-in-law attempted the same tactic one time. Same thing -- what offense was committed that needs to be apologized for. No response. No clarification.


Pffffttttt... File 13.


If one has a grievance against another you had better damn well voice that complaint and offer your alleged offender an opportunity to explain or apologize or you're only rotting your own brain with perceived injustices and that's your problem, no one else's.

When one FORGIVES the issue is cleared away.

When one says they FORGIVE but don't FORGET they have set themselves up as untrustworthy and a liar.


If Jesus Christ died for our sins and God forgave us of those sins when we believed in Christ but remembered every sin we had committed before gaining salvation then God's promise would be a lie. God would be weakened by His own fallibility. God's word would be moot and untrustworthy.

Before you B*TCH on someone for eternity for a perceived wrong you had best wash your own dirty linen and be positively certain you are not making false claims and/or accusations. You must give the offender notice of the offense and an opportunity to makes appropriate amends, if called for. This is called due process.

If you don't offer due process, and accuse me of something without giving me an opportunity to correct any fault then F**K you! Your whine isn't real or you are too weak to confront your own demons.

In such a case, Forgive -- who gives a fk?

Forget? Not you! Cause it's eating you up, isn't it? Live with it!

It doesn't phase me.


4/7/17 9:32 AM 

stl1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,104)
Saint Louis, MO


Quote from easttowest72:

Women shouldn't go without a bra it causes the pancake affect....and breast feeding.




Can you explain to me how going braless causes breast feeding, E2W?


4/7/17 9:32 AM 

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,111)
Eugene, OR


Quote from burt_hurt:
the idea of forgiveness is to let go of feelings of anger and feelings of resentment.

it doesn't mean someone that plans to hurt you deserves a place in your life because you're not longer angry at them.


Well no, as per my Jesus example, forgiveness is wiping away the previous transgressions like they never happened, cleaning the soul etc and forgiving so you may enter the house of god.

If Jesus/God said "I forgive you but you're not coming into heaven"...then that's not really forgiveness is it if you are unable to go back to how things were or how things would have gone had you not done what you did...There is a consequence, a retribution.

Not being mad at someone, not feeling anger to someone doesn't = forgiveness...it just means you are not mad at them...it doesn't me you absolve them of the guilty act.


yeah if you're God and have the power to take away the sins of the world.
I don't have that power. I do well enough to keep my own jazz in check.

you can forgive but that doesn't mean the original transgression never happened.


4/7/17 9:33 AM 

stl1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,104)
Saint Louis, MO


Quote from justaspypro:
That's what they said to her. Mine look like f**king bowling balls...




Your belly button is still visible!



4/7/17 9:35 AM 

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,111)
Eugene, OR


Quote from eyesofmedusa:
And most ppl...can't let go...

Or can't for a long time..

Hi Ann


morning ms eyes


4/7/17 9:52 AM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

yeah if you're God and have the power to take away the sins of the world.
I don't have that power.


You DO have the power to forgive the sins of someone who has sinned against YOU.

...but if you then don't allow them in your life...well you haven't really forgiven them.

Choosing not to hold a grudge is not forgiveness, it's letting things go...and that's more about serving yourself better than doing them any favors.




[Edited 4/7/2017 9:53:09 AM ]

4/7/17 10:00 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN

Quote from stl1:
Your belly button is still visible!


True.... Lol


4/7/17 10:11 AM 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (73,557)
Fort Payne, AL


I think there are people willing to do this.

the problem is, the advisory isn't willing to do this too...and they keep firing at the one willing to let the past go.

And nothing gets accomplished, and then you eventually fire back at them.

That's usually about the size of it..at least here anyway.


4/7/17 10:44 AM 

mrfckinpetey
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,911)
Orlando, FL

I disagree with Burt. I think you can forgive someone and still be smart. I can forgive a kid for dropping and breaking my plates, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let them eat off them again. =P

Jesus doesn't have to deal with consequences so his opinion doesn't matter. =P




[Edited 4/7/2017 10:45:20 AM ]

4/7/17 11:00 AM 
Stopsign_01
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,206)
Londres
Argentina




4/7/17 11:03 AM 

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,111)
Eugene, OR


Quote from burt_hurt:
yeah if you're God and have the power to take away the sins of the world.
I don't have that power.


You DO have the power to forgive the sins of someone who has sinned against YOU.

...but if you then don't allow them in your life...well you haven't really forgiven them.

Choosing not to hold a grudge is not forgiveness, it's letting things go...and that's more about serving yourself better than doing them any favors.


forgiving someone is for ourselves. what makes you think we're really so great that our forgiveness is their absolution? it's not. their absolution is their burden not the person doing the forgiving.

forĀ·give:
stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

you may have forgiven that particular offense but no where does it say that they are welcomed to repeat that same offense.
if you want to use Jesus's example he forgave and said go and sin no more.
that doesn't mean to allow someone back in our lives that plans to repeat the same offense.


4/7/17 11:05 AM 

playingindirt
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,111)
Eugene, OR


Quote from Stopsign_01:


lol


4/7/17 11:07 AM 
justaspypro
Over 2,000 Posts (3,084)
Petros, TN



4/7/17 1:53 PM 

M4mischief
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (16,418)
Grand Prairie, TX


I agree ann....forgiveness doesn't mean be stupid and allow the person to keep shitting on you over and over again....it means to let go and love yourself enough not to be treated in a certain manner....

4/7/17 2:05 PM 
burt_hurt
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,424)
Beverly Hills, CA

Liberals